


Shooting Stars and Wishes

by loser1419



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I Tried, M/M, Or not, but a little fluffy too tbh, happy ending! yay!, happy junhwan day, in lowercase since u have to go past the angst to find it, just read it and be sad, yep in bold letters because this is not just angst its ANGST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 04:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loser1419/pseuds/loser1419
Summary: "I'm bringing you back." He's pulling him towards the door, and Jinhwan gathers all the energy left on his body to remain rooted on his spot. He doesn't want to go back yet. He wants to stay here longer, at the rooftop, where the stars illuminated the whole place. Looking at the stars calms him, and with Junhoe here, he doesn't want to go anywhere. There's no place he'd rather be.





	Shooting Stars and Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> im procrastinating again but hey, its junhwan day yesterday so i made something quick for you

"It's been a while isn't it?" Jinhwan says, shuddering a little at the cold wind. He tightens his jacket around himself, trying and failing to keep himself warm.

"Hyung, maybe we should have just stayed inside, it's freezing."

"But the stars look beautiful tonight," Jinhwan puts his hand up in the sky and closes it around nothing, pretending to catch a star on his hand. It looks so near, yet so far. "How could something that already died a hundred years ago be this beautiful?"

He receives nothing but silence, and he honestly expected it. The heavy stare burns at the side of his face, but he refuses to look at him.

Suddenly, a huge gust of wind hits them, sending Jinhwan off balanced. Junhoe is quick on his feet to catch him before he falls, enclosing him on an embrace. Jinhwan pushes the nagging thought of being too weak, too small and frail that even a simple wind could topple him over, choosing to focus on the warmth that engulfs his whole body instead. He significantly feels warmer than all the layers of clothing he's put on, now that he's inside the younger's arms.

Jinhwan nuzzles his face on Junhoe's chest, breathing the familiar scent that he missed so much.

Unfortunately the moment doesn't last long, because Junhoe is fussing all over him again.

"Hyung, i told you, we really should just go back now."

Jinhwan stood still, letting Junhoe fret over him. He's checking him for an injury that he doesn't have, and Jinhwan feels like crying.

So he did.

"Why are you crying?" Jinhwan hates crying, but Junhoe's overwhelming presence and his love that warms and radiates even on the coldest days, seeps on his veins and on his heart. Junhoe brushes the tear that slid down on his cheek, cupping Jinhwan's face in his hand worriedly. "Are you hurting anywhere?"

His heart hurts for him, but Jinhwan says nothing. He blinks and more tears fell, as Junhoe helplessly watch him cry. He looks like he's about to cry too, his lower lip in between his teeth and his eyes glassy. Jinhwan hates crying, but he hates it even more if it's Junhoe who's crying. He shouldn't waste another tear for him. He's cried enough.

"I'm bringing you back." He's pulling him towards the door, and Jinhwan gathers all the energy left on his body to remain rooted on his spot. He doesn't want to go back yet. He wants to stay here longer, at the rooftop, where the stars illuminated the whole place. Looking at the stars calms him, and with Junhoe here, he doesn't want to go anywhere.

"Hyung,"

"I miss you." Jinhwan's voice is nothing more than a whisper, though Junhoe heard it loud and clear. Junhoe heaves a deep breath, forcing his tears at bay, before looking at Jinhwan. He's shivering and he should really not be outside, but Jinhwan has always been on the stubborn side. So he pulls him once again back in his arms, hoping that it's enough to stop him from trembling.

It did, and Junhoe wishes they could stay like this forever.

"I miss you too." he whispers it against Jinhwan's fluffy hair, and he feels him press closer to him. He allows himself to be weak for only tonight, alone with the man that he trusts, and the one that he has sworn to love for a very long time. He discards his mask and sets it aside, because Jinhwan perfectly sees right through him, and pretending isn't a choice when it comes to him.

"I miss you so much." Jinhwan cries some more, staining Junhoe's jacket with his tears. He's starting to hiccup in between his words, and Junhoe is running his hand on his back to calm him down. He has so much to say to the younger, so he tries hard to form a sentence to convey at least a fraction on what he's been thinking for so long. "I miss being like this with you."

"Me too hyung," Junhoe's voice sounds rougher than normal, voice scratchy from keeping his own tears. "I miss this too."

 

 

They settled right beside the door, huddled close together with Jinhwan's back leaning on Junhoe's chest. It's still cold, but Junhoe's arms that wounded around him acts like his personal furnace.

Jinhwan reaches for a star again, the brightest among the thousands, but this time, rather than enclosing it on nothing, Junhoe's hand grasps his own ones. His face breaks into a smile at the simple gesture, pulling both of their hands and interlacing their fingers together.

It's fascinating how their hand has a huge difference when it comes to the size, but fits perfectly whenever they held hands. It's like they're made to fit each other, custom made _just_  for each other. Thinking about it usually brought him happiness, but now it accompanies melancholy. Something he's been feeling for a while now.

"June?" Junhoe hums, and kisses the side of his face to show that he's listening. Jinhwan is thankful for their position now--his back facing him, because he doesn't want to see his reaction on his next words. It will hurt him, he knows, but he still wants to ask. He'll never gain the courage to do this again. "If you knew that I am going to die, would you still love me?"

The arms around him tighten, and a sharp intake of breath follows, but Jinhwan's not done yet. He breached the topic that has been bugging him for nights,  _months_ , and he wants to know the answer, even if it will hurt them both. "If you're given a chance, would you choose not to meet me again? Save yourself from all the pain?"

Junhoe doesn't answer immediately, just breathes in and cries silently. Jinhwan feels as another wave of tears pool at the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall in any second. He lets Junhoe take his time, doesn't push for an answer again.

When Junhoe finally did answer, Jinhwan cries with him too.

"You're not going to die on me. I promise you that didn't i?"

He did. He promised him that on the day when Jinhwan was first admitted to the hospital, when he was first diagnosed with his disease. It has been years ever since, but hearing it again still has the same impact on him.

 _God_ , he loves him so much.

That's why it pains him more to see him like this--broken and weeping in his arms. He deserves to be happy, and Jinhwan knows he won't get it if he's still holding onto him.

"I'm tired June," Jinhwan says softly, both knowing what he truly meant with that. It's apparent with the way Junhoe cries harder, sobbing on his neck, and clenching on their tightly closed hands. "I want to rest now."

"No please, just hold on for a bit longer hyung," The winds blows harder, and the stars have gone blurry with his tears. "We're researching for your case, we're doing everything that we can. Please don't give up yet, please."

Jinhwan smiles, even though his chest feels it's going to burst with the amount of affection that he has for the younger. Who knows that the tardy and rebellious kid in highschool would turn into a doctor?  _His_  doctor?

_"Hyung, if they can't find a cure for you, then I will!"_

Junhoe fulfilled his words and graduated in med school, before applying on the hospital where he was admitted. Junhoe has been busy since then, with his workload as a doctor and with his research. They spent their birthdays with a small cake in Jinhwan's room, and celebrated their anniversaries as much as Junhoe's free time could allow them.

On their 10th anniversary, today, Junhoe's leave was approved, and with very limited choices, Jinhwan asked him to take him to the rooftop.

Junhoe has been suffering for years that they are together, and Jinhwan decides he's spent enough years and memories with him. He can't be too selfish.

"Jinan, I love you," And that easily breaks Jinhwan's resolve. He spent days on building his walls around him, but it's hard when Junhoe is being like this. He sounds so sincere, his words heartfelt despite hearing it for countless of times already. It never lose it's meaning whenever it was uttered to him, whether it was murmured against his lips, or at times like this when Jinhwan is on the verge of giving up. "Please trust me, I'll find the cure soon. Don't give up yet, please."

Jinhwan breaks away from Junhoe's arms, and turns his body to look at him. He stares at his lover's red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, before leaning in and capturing his quivering lips in a gentle kiss. He can't stand seeing Junhoe like this. He looks so afraid of losing him. The raw pain in his eyes hurts Jinhwan more than the daily needles that tears on his skin. If Junhoe wants him to stay longer, then he will. For Junhoe, he will. It's not an act of selfishness if Junhoe wants it too right?

Another tear fell, and this time, it's Jinhwan who brushes it away. He made up his mind. "I love you too."

More tears streamed down from Junhoe's eyes, but he's smiling a little now. Relief washes all over his features, and Jinhwan thinks he can't be anymore in love than this. Could loving someone hurt this good?

 

10 years had passed, and Jinhwan is ready to spend the next years in his hospital room, as long as Junhoe's by his side.

Junhoe never once broke his promises, so he'll believe him once more. Junhoe's years of research would eventually come to an end, and he'll get better soon. Its a promise.

 

 

It's 10pm and Jinhwan is starting to feel drowsy. Junhoe is breaking all the hospital codes by bringing him to the rooftop, and staying out longer than the intended time.

He crouches down to offer his lover a piggy back ride, figuring that the trip back on his room will tire him out. He secures his legs on his sides before heaving him up. He barely weighs anything, and Junhoe makes a mental note to monitor his weight again.

"A shooting star," Jinhwan murmurs, pointing at the bright flash of white streak on the night sky. It disappears quickly before their eyes. "Let's wish for something?"

Junhoe never believed in such things, or understands Jinhwan's fascination with the celestial objects and its myths, but he closes his eyes anyway and wishes.

 

 

"What did you wish for, June?" Junhoe pulls the blanket over Jinhwan's body, before placing a soft kiss on the latter's forehead.

"That's a secret hyung." He just smiles when Jinhwan pouts at him, used with the attack that would usually work well with the nurses, but not for him. "I'm immune to your cuteness, that's not gonna affect me anymore."

Junhoe sees the blush that slowly work its way up on Jinhwan's pale cheeks. He's blinking rapidly and his mouth is slightly agape, and maybe Junhoe's not too immune with the cuteness. "I'm not acting cute!"

"Sure hyung," He's really not used to it, because he can't help himself from smiling a bit too much. "Just sleep, you're already tired right?"

"Okay. How about you?"

Junhoe will have to go back to work tomorrow, but he wants to stay with Jinhwan longer even if it meant he's gonna lose hours of sleep. Jinhwan is worth everything--he didn't mind losing things for him.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep. So hush now, and sleep."

"Happy Anniversary June, I love you." Junhoe's heart stops, before it pounds louder on his chest.

"Happy Anniversary too, Jinani, I love you so much."

 

 

Jinhwan fell asleep easily, chest heaving up and down rhythmically in just a few minutes. The earlier events must have worn him off.

A knock on the door, before someone came in. "Dr. Koo, I'm sorry but the visiting hours is long over."

"Ah, is it?" Junhoe is aware, but there's no harm in pretending, right? Especially if it gives him more time to linger around. "I'll just gather my things and I'll be out soon. Thank you."

The nurse excused herself and closes the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone. Junhoe stands up and grabs his coat, before gently combing Jinhwan's fringe that falls on his closed eyes. He looks peaceful like this--sleeping and free of pain.

"If I would be given another chance, I would still want to meet you, hyung." Junhoe stops when Jinhwan shifts a little on his sleep, but doesn't wake up. He continues, "Even if it will cause me pain in the future, I'll still gladly walk the path together with you."

 

 

_(In the Summer of2008, the news about a hundred shooting stars appearing tonight sent the small town buzzing. It's a rare phenomena they say, but Junhoe remains unbothered, holed up while watching movies in their new living room._

_Halfway through his third movie, the doorbell rang. Junhoe had no intention of answering it, but his mother's nags forced him to do so._

_"Hello, I'm Kim Jinhwan, your neighbor. My mother wants me to give this to you to welcome you to our neighborhood." The stranger was speaking a bit too fast for him to comprehend, as he thrusted a small tupperware on his chest. Junhoe stared at him blankly, confused but amused at the same time._

_A distant sound of people shouting erupted, and then the sky turned brighter._

_"Oh, fuck it started already." The stranger, or what he introduced himself as Jinhwan, cussed while looking at the sky. He started to run away from Junhoe's front door, before abruptly stopping to look back on him. He waved his hands at Junhoe and shouted, "I'll talk to you again neighbor!"_

_Later, Junhoe resumed back his position in front of their television, the only difference this time was the warm plate of freshly baked star shaped cookies that was on his lap.)_

**Author's Note:**

> im still trying out stuff before exams season starts again so constructive criticisms and comments are appreciated!


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